Is South Asian Blood Thicker Than Water?

When Saurin* reminisces about his daughter, he remembers a little girl twirling in the foyer wearing pink ballet slippers. He remembers the girl whose math homework he checked, for whose 16th birthday he rented out a venue for a few thousand dollars more than he intended, who ate cold puris on the way to school. He remembers how she’d say “Papa,” embarrassed, every time he told a joke. (Saurin* requested anonymity to protect his family’s privacy).

It’s been eight years since she cut him off. “It’s devastating,” he said in a worn voice. According to Saurin*, his daughter cut communication after he and her mother filed for divorce in Arizona when she was around 18. 

His story isn’t unique. Family estrangement is a growing phenomenon, particularly in the West. Cornell sociologist Karl Pillemer found that 27% of Americans 18 and older experience estrangement and a 2015 survey found the same for 20% of U.K. families. In fact, estrangement has increased for white, Western, non-immigrants under the age of 35. For South Asian immigrants like Saurin*, however, they must reconcile the ideals around familial duty they inherited with the individualist reality they now inhabit.